Innovative

thinking....

The wise man has the sun and the moon by his side. He grasps the universe under the arm. He blends everything into a harmonious whole, cast aside whatever is confused or obscured, and regards the humble and the honourable.

Tchuang-Tseu, Chinese philosopher, III b. C., Book of Tchuang-Tseu

NEVER LEAVE INSIDE...

fi fi....Fiona! / Sour Beer

I could not have been interrupted from an afternoon beer in a more rude manner. It began by a few quiet ales at the old local with a few colleagues and close acquaintances, when FIONA who i had not seen in my life, appeared. As i sat at the outdoors table with relatively large glasses on a drunk, not attractive, gambling, beer bellied mum yells her name at me.

'Fiona,' she said as she walked closer. I ignored her as i believed the comment was not directed at me.
'Fiona,' she said in a louder voice. At this stage she was right in front of me. I looked away and glanced at the others at the table still believing the comments were not directed at me and at someone else i was sitting with. They all stared blankly back at my direction.

At this the old hag changed her manner and began to throw profanities my way.

'You rude piece of shit, when someone introduces themselves your meant to offer your name back.' During this i seemed to notice her chipped and stained teeth that look like she has been kissing a dog.
She then walked over to her bike continuing to bad mouth me. I was flabbergasted at what was going on.

'Oh! and your showing bumcrack, how disgusting.' I couldn't even laugh i was in shock.
'Your just like your bumcrack.'
'I have five grandchildren and your nothing like them.' It is difficult to piece that comment together. I felt like telling her she should be looking after her grandchildren and not being a booze hound, junky, pokie player. But i refrained.
'Look and you and your glasses covering half your face,' as she slurred her words in a whiny homeless voice.

During her drunken rampage she struggled to unlock her bike. This made for more time to keep blasting offensive, yet somewhat disjointed comments in my direction.

Soon enough she passed like a storm in the night and the calm returned to my body and the vibe that surrounded the table pre Fiona was established.

Fiona continued to annoy the locals with a gesture regularly fired down in my direction. The slag then left with an old long white bearded male who was hopefully onlywalking in the same direction and not getting himself more than any human could handle.

If only a bus came at the same time she rode down the road.

As the wrath known as FIONA turned into sheer memory, another local turned up at the table. The deaf, drunk, blind old man, BARREN. What a wonderful conversation it turned out talking to him. Yet i continue to stop in for a cold ale.

jimmys bottlo sooky man

Current mood: blank

well i waas at work on the duporth the other day when a man looky pretty dirty came in. he wasn't lookin very happy and i felt sorry for him for a bit, then he told me he was ahving a bad day, and without asking why he started crying infront of me, this is a full grown man dirty, smelly this is all i needed on a thursdya morning, he was blabbing some shit and now i started to hate teh man, cause i dont deserve this shit, then he goes into the public bar to get a drink, he has one beer is kicked out come back and starts crying about being kicked out, at this stage i was cursing like hell wondering what i did so wrong to deserve this, then he asked for a tallie, and i said he couldnt have one cause he was refused service from the place, then he decided to tell me why he was refused service, and it becaseu quote "my job is to root chicks' i dont know what kind of chicks root him, but hey we all need loving, all most at the end of my patience i tell teh man, well he didnt really act like a man to get an tallie and get out cause i had had enough, he then proceeded to talk shit and cry about he dead grandma, which i didnt care about at this stage, then after i got him out the door he stood at the doorway crying again and apologising for about 10 mintues before i got magaement to literally push him away, why did i deserve thsi i ask? because i work at the fucken bottleo

F.U.B (watchout!)

Current mood: determined

well iam the local bottleo kid and i attract some weird and some wacky clientel. The other week i noticed the return of Fuckd up Blondie who for te rest of the story will be known simply as FUB. her name doesnt just come about by just seeing the haggered blonde but by the encounters i have expieriencesd. FUB i would assume was either dropped on teh head at birth or drugged fucked or a combination of the two. The possibilty of both is quite high. Well it was a wednesday early evening and i was solo in the Cellar Door whe the is FUB chick wiht a squeaky/masculine kinda voice enters the versinity at 100 miles and hour or maybe faster andking very rapidly and rudely the price of different items. I ask politel for her to slow down casue i coulndt understand what she was saying. not that she has the clearest voice anyway. By her continual high speed irritaing voice vovie she failed to comprhend wht i was saying.. From the muttering of her voice and previous experience with others of her type i gathered she wanted a rum or bourbon can. I politely ask as iam a nice guy and customers come first, 'how much money would u like to spend." P.S she wears a base ball cap. She proceed to tell me it is none of my business and to fuck up. As most people know i dont deserve this shit in my bottleo and i ask her to get teh fuck out of my chop. She continues to ignore me and asks the price of somehtign else as if i have not said anything. this is where the name FUB comes from. Iam rather pissed off at this stage because i have a chroming junkie in my company. i slowly approach her wiht caution, this bitch may be dumb but she could be wild. (In come the steve irwin actions). When i get closer she blurts out wiht half a litre of saliva (crikey that was close) that fell onto her shirt... 'I have 2 dollars, what can i get.' with customer service already out the door i say, ' a kick in the teeth.' the FUB continues to look at the fridge and say where is that. Before she gets angry cause she cant find it i tell her we have sold out of them. FUB then gets mad stomps her feet and says you guys are way too expensive. I stand stunned at the mess that was jsut before my eyes and return to the counter where i go back to reading the newspaper which i was reading before i was rudely interupted.

this is my story

Boom Box Boy

It was sunday the 14th of may at approximately 2.30 the pit closed it doors to the public and the usual pests (aka. Bryan, Arden, Matty B, Helmet, Aido, jimmy and whoever else) were standing out the front. There where discussions about the previos nights proceedings and so on, until there was this noise, an irritating techno noise that is not usual heard in these kind of circumstances. 'What is that,' i heard somone say as they pointed. To all our suprise a boy, a red head boy no older than 12 walks past with his hand held flat balanceing a little boom box well it was not a boom box really, but was maxing out by hte sounds of things. Everyone looked at each other trying very hard not to laugh and hurt the poor boys feeling, we were being considerate young chaps. As he past our glances stayed fixed on his movements and his strange persona that he was putting off. He crossed the road, bopping his head to the beats everynow and then just to prove that yes he was listenign to it. Where did this kid come from? he just apearred and was strange. The young rednut crossed the road and walked back down the street in the same direction he came but on the opposite side of the road. Once we thoguht he was gone we could not help ourselves and have a chuckle. 'No way,' somone said, 'he is crossing the road and comming abck out way.' almost considering ducking for cover we all stood strong as the red head boy and his blasting beats cut another lap past. By this stage we were all weired out and where past wondering what his caper was, this young kid was whack. He proceeded in the same manner as before past us and walked up to the lights, where he crossed the road again, beats still maxing out, and walked off down the street where i assume he vanished into thin air or was abducted by aliens, His music is left to burn out souls and rot our brains.